A New Phase

Hey everyone! Its been such a long time since I've been here but I'M BACK! First of all, the title says it all. Its a new phase for me and i finally can say that I'm 50% on the road to recovery of my life. Fact is, I'm trying not to be too serious of a person and just try to enjoy life as it comes. In fact, I've been taking care of myself physically and mentally. I've been exercising regularly for the past month and lets just say that its a 1st for me to say that i enjoy working out at the stadium. For me, its more of a health thing as i realize a few weeks back, i could barely breathe and wheezing after walking up a flight of stairs. All this while, i keep telling to myself, "Oh screw P.E! I'm already fabulous as it is!"
Yes, i still keep telling that to myself but the fact is, I want to be healthy. I have been in TAF club throughout my years in primary and secondary school and the fact that i'm not your average Singaporean girl makes me stand out. I'm 1.61m and my weight was 100kg and yes i am not afraid to tell this to anyone.
Currently I'm 1.61m and 94kg!! It may be a big number to anyone who don't know me but its been a struggle trying to lose that bloody 6kg in a month. I've tried diets and I've tried exercising for a few days a few years back but i will always lose momentum and not have the drive to try. Back in those days, i tried those methods because everyone was criticizing my weight and my body every fucking single day to the point where i just gave up and just made fun of myself like how they make fun of me.
Now I'm 22 years old and i think i finally learn how to get control of my body. Its not about me trying to fit in a size M or trying to blend in with the slim and slender singaporean girls. Its about me trying to be healthy and trying to live as long as i can so i can spend more time with my loved ones and friends.
Consistency is the key for me, i believe. I still eat whatever i feel like eating but in moderation and i make sure i work twice as hard during my exercise regimen. Its not easy and at times, its really hard for me to drag myself to the stadium and work out and every time, it happens, lets just say a voice in my head will always remind me, "Its going to be worth it."
FYI, i hate running so i don't run like 4 rounds around the track constantly. However, i jog and brisk walk. I have my own pedometer and every session, my average steps a session is around 7000 in less than 2 hours. As of right now, I've never been happier with how i am physically. I know this post is very long but i just hope that whoever is going through something similar like my body image journey now, knows that he or she is not alone. I know its cliche and corny and whatever, but its a good feeling and only you and you alone can make this happen. Its your body and no one can control it but you.

Love,
TheFullFigure